Saturday, 30 August 2014

One Possible Sign of a Bad Dom

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I want to share one observation that I would say, if you experience a Dom doing this to you, proceed with caution.  I won’t go as far as saying its outright wrong, because - again, I believe each D/s couple sets their own rules.  But I am saying, personally, I would never do this with a sub, and if a Dom does it with you, I think you should pause.

I have never, and would never get in between my sub and her family.  In fact, I do not control who my sub chooses to have as her girlfriends.  Yet, I’ve seen it with other couples.  And it often ends badly.  I knew a D/s couple where the Dom got in a big argument with his sub’s family.  Because of it, he forbid her from associating with her sister and other family members.  (This couple was married.)  For 10 years, his (unfortunate) sub did not see or speak to her sister.  Then, for unrelated reasons, the couple divorced.  The sub reunited with her family, and once again became best friends with her sister.  To this day, one of her biggest regrets in life is that she missed the birth of her sister’s kids.

My point is this: in my opinion, that Dom abused his power as a Dominant.  To my view, he was selfish.  I would never interfere with my sub’s family in such a manner.  I would keep the peace for my submissive’s sake.  If your Dom is wedging his way in between you and your family (or your friends), just be careful.

More often than not, it’s a bad sign.


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  2. Great advice and unfortunately not all women have the confidence to stand up against this kind of thing.

  3. I wish I would have realized how irresponsible I am for letting this happen. I am thankful for my family and friends who have graciously accepted my apoligize and have pick me up from my literal "sub-drop"

  4. I agree to a point. My sub's family is emotionally toxic. They belittle her constantly and expect her to do things for the aging parents when they do nothing. This damages her self-esteem because she hates herself for not standing up to them.

    I encourage her to set appropriate boundaries with the ones who are salvageable and to not see or speak to the ones who are the worst. I don't demand but I strongly encourage while pointing out the damage they are doing to her by working against our efforts to allow her to become the person SHE wants to be.

    Sometimes people in the sub's life NEED to be taken out of the picture.

    1. Great comment. Agreed. Every situation is unique. I tried to word my blurb as a caution, not as a definite. Even in the heading I say "Possible" - as I know there are valid exceptions. Thank-you!!