Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Top Twenty Tweets from Last Year

Very proud to have reached 5,000 followers. These were some of my faves from the past year:

1. Be happy when you post a selfie. Ten years from now you’ll come across the photo and think "I wish I looked that good now."

2. I watched ten minutes of the Kardashians the other day. I hadn’t heard so many rants since the last time I was on Facebook.

3. After giving up kinky sex for a month, I learned what’s really important in life......kinky sex!
4. Feeling guilty for not reading more? No worries, activate the ‘closed captioning’ on your 55 inch flatscreen. There you go!

5. Reader: Are the Author who always puts the blame on another Author?
Me: No, that's Gina Whitney.

6. Real Doms do the dishes. Seriously. If a male Dom thinks he's 'above' helping out around the house, that's being selfish, not dominant.

7. Kissing is underrated. Sex in the shower is overrated. Seriously, sex in the shower is good in theory, but always clumsy in real.

8. Not everyone is a poet, until we get dumped. Then suddenly we all turn into John Lennon.

9. "Of course I've never left any permanent scars," I answered. "I'm a responsible Dom." "I didn't mean the ones you can see," she replied.

10. If you love someone set their butt on fire. If they cum they are yours. If they don't, they never were.

11. I asked my wife who was funnier, me or Jimmy Fallon. Anyway, I'll take her out of the dungeon in the morning.

12. The word 'stressed' backwards is 'desserts'. So, let's invert stress today. Sound like a plan?

13. I will tweet your nipples viciously, while I twitter your magical nub, until you hashtag all over my fingers.

14. What's the worst thing a timid Dom/Domme can say while delivering a spanking? "Oh sorry, was that too hard?"

15. Orgasms are like vacations. There's no such thing as a bad one.

16. A girl who is kinky is good. A girl who is kinky and thinky is the best.

17. There is no shame when a sub uses her safeword. It's not a sign of failure, but rather, communication of a threshold.

18. Any song with the word 'soulmate' in it has to suck.

19. I don’t really like BDSM. Okay, maybe a little. Or, somewhat. I mean, it has its merits. I guess it’s okay. Quite good, actually. Practically amazing. I LOVE BDSM.

20. I just want to grab that nipple, and begin a slow cruel twist to the left, then pull you closer by it.....oh sorry, you were saying?

So, please follow me on Twitter if you don't already. And please share this post if you so choose.