"Do you wield a whip?"

I was asked a common question recently which was, “Do you wield a whip?” My answer was, “yes and no.” Let me elaborate. First, I should say – I have never, and would never strike a sub with a bullwhip. That is dangerous stuff, besides the fact that I’m a Dom, not a sadist. Bullwhips are great for ‘show’. It’s cool to curl up a bullwhip and make a sub kiss the whip, to signify her surrender. Now, I’m not saying more experienced Dominants don’t use bullwhips. I think there are some that do. I’m just saying, I personally don’t have the skill to use one and would never risk it.

Here’s what I do use: Let’s start with spankings, since that’s a great way for those new to the lifestyle to start. Yup, I use my hand. Spankings are great. A Dom/me could deliver quite the serious spanking with nothing more than his/her hand. The pain on my own palm lets me gauge how painful it must be for the sub. And trust me, sometimes my hand is stinging! Next is a paddle. Even a ping pong paddle works well. They are nice and broad, so very safe. Recently I used a beautiful olive wood paddle (it was designed as a cutting board). Wood paddles hurt like hell, as there is no give or flex to the wood. A hairbrush is, in effect a small paddle. Let’s move on to belts. Belts are awesome too. Keep in mind the width of the belt: the wider the safer. I strike harder with a wide belt, and softer with a narrow belt. Also, a leather belt makes a great sound when it lands, which adds to the drama of the scene. Floggers are very cool and easy to use. Deer skin floggers are the softest, and perfect for the breasts. The pain builds nicely, and this works well as far as getting a sub into subspace (strike rhythmically, not sporadically). After that, you start getting into the more dangerous stuff, which is not my thing. Single tail whips or even riding crops can be very nasty. As a responsible Dom, you should always try it on yourself first. You can strike your inner calf. If it’s too painful for you, it’s too painful for her!

There’s an expression: ‘the business end of the belt’. That’s way past my limits. I’d never do that. I have also never truly used a cane, except for ‘theatre’. A cane is ideal to gently poke at the nipples, or to slide along the folds of her pussy…but I have never used a cane to strike with any real degree of force. It’s very easy to break the skin with a cane. Back to the original question: have a wielded a whip? If you consider a flogger or a belt a whip then yes; but if you mean a real whip – like a bullwhip, then no – never did and never will.